Emo Post of the Day

Emo Post of the Day<3
Current mood: bummed


RIP Janelle

Nadja Janelle Alvarez
9.11.88 - 5.26.07

So a dear friend of mine passed away a year ago yesterday. One of my boyfriends good friends passed away a few weeks ago. I also have heard through the grapevine that many people from high school have left this Earth. Its just a big realization of how life can be sooooo short. Here im wasting my time doing what exactly? Granite, I have BEST friends, an awesome boyfriend and a family that loves me(on most days, lol) but really what am i doing to leave my mark on the world? Obviously nothing. I guess this is the growing stage as i've said sooo many times before. but it doesnt seem like im growing but rather just settling into a life ill be living till i retire. Will i ever finish school? will i be working this job, which is a great one, but not exactly what i saw myself doing in High School. I had dreams, i still do, im not that old yet. lol. Its just a matter of getting these things done in order to get to where i want to be. Since im not where i should be does that mean that i dont want it that bad or that Its not meant for me to do it? should i take the blessing i have now with the job im working and settle in? Is this what im meant to do ? Theirs soo many questions that need to be answer. Its ultimately up to me but at 20 years old am i really able to make these big decisions? I'm going to have too. but why does society say that at 20 you should be on your way to where you want to go? by 25 if your not established you wasted so many years? taking two classes a semester working 8 to 5 job isnt getting me anywhere fast. Esp to that dream job of working as a PR. Its either choosing a party life or choosing a career. At this point im stuck in the middle, but not the good middle of both worlds. more of the britney spears "Not a girl not yet a women" kinda in-between. lmao. Besties should understand that more than anything, i have to most extreme grown up life that a person my age could be living, office, commute, old people, lol. The whole nine yards. But at home im still treated so young, like i dont have the understanding too be able to be on my own. but maybe i dont. maybe i need the reliance of being treated so young.

WTF, lol. changes are needed. quick status.

When you think about loved ones that passed you get a realization that life can be taken from you at any moment. You realize that the things you put off today may not be able to happen tomorrow. That things that need to be done should be done. Time shouldnt be spent arguing but rather living it up, doing what you want and trying to be the best you can be.

but why is it so hard to be that person when you know that thats who you want to be? Why is it soo hard to leave the people who hurt you or the people who you know are the worst people for you.

i thinks its all comfort ability. is that even a a word ? Well if it is i hate it. I wanna be able to step outside my comfort zone.

I need to change. . . . .I need to get my life together. . . . I need to figure out what i want to do and do it. . .


Ew. I just need guidance. lmao

k. my Emo post is over.
Thanks for reading.